Parenting Meets Math: 5 Dr. Becky-Inspired Connections

Are you a fan of Good Inside with Dr. Becky? Her podcast is incredibly helpful. Her advice shapes how I think about parenting my own young kids. It’s especially helpful when it comes to the long game and how our small, everyday interactions lay the foundation for who our kids are becoming. 

I think a lot about how young children gain understanding and confidence in math. I’m often struck by how closely her advice aligns with what I believe about great math learning: It’s about curiosity over control and connection over correction. And it’s about guiding our kids to feel capable, especially when faced with challenges.

In this recent episode [linked here], Dr. Becky walks through a tricky parenting moment with her first-grade son. He  unexpectedly confesses a string of less-than-ideal behaviors – right before his parent-teacher conference. She narrates her choices, her internal dialogue, and the strategies she used to stay connected while addressing the behavior.

I nodded along with every other sentence. The parallels to how we as parents can support strong math foundations were everywhere. 

So today, I want to share five connections between her story and how we can raise math-confident kids.

Connection #1: Do less. Go slow.

When Dr. Becky’s son admitted to some less-than-stellar behavior, she didn’t jump in with a lecture or solution. Instead, she paused and gave him space to process his own emotions and share as much as he wanted.

→ In math learning, that kind of pause matters, too.  When we slow down and resist the urge to correct, our kids have time to notice patterns, test ideas, and make sense of what they see—before an adult swoops in with the “right way”.

Connection #2: Let them own the learning

After her son told her what he’d done, Dr. Becky doesn’t demand a full behavior overhaul. Instead, she invited him to choose one thing to work on. She put him in the driver’s seat of his own change and growth.  

→ In math, that sense of ownership matters too.  When we follow our children's curiosity or offer choices, we help them develop agency.  Let them decide what to count, how to sort, and which strategy to try.  Learning sticks when kids own the thinking.

Connection #3:  Validate the thinking behind the misstep

During his confessions, her son offered a creative (and hilarious) explanation for his behavior: He was “too excited about vacation.” She glimpsed how he was making sense of things.

→ In math, a wrong answer often reveals brilliant thinking.  Say, “Tell me more about that.” Asking them to elaborate shows our kids their ideas matter. Those ideas are the building blocks for what they will learn next - even if they’re not yet correct.

Connection #4: Problem-solve together

 Our first urge is often to jump into fixing mode.  Instead of offering all the solutions, Dr. Becky brainstormed with her son. They explored ideas together.

→ In math, we can do the same. Ask: What could we try? What might work? Let it be a shared puzzle. Guide the conversation with questions, not with your step-by-step solution.  To build their confidence in solving problems, our kids need to lead the way forward.  

Connection #5: Build our kids’ trust 

Dr. Becky’s goal in the moment was not simply to solve the immediate problem - it was to build trust. She wanted her son to know he could come to her with hard things, now and in the future. As she puts it:

“Our kids are encoding patterns of how things feel with us, and those patterns and feelings will have more of an impact on what they do when they’re older than what we say to them.”

→ When it comes to math, the kind of trust I want children to encode is slightly different. I want our children to build trust in themselves, their reasoning, and their capacity to learn.

Many of my middle school students had lost or never developed this inner trust in their math abilities. They relied on external validation. Without engaging their reasoning, they often pleaded with me to tell them if the answer was right.  

Let’s help our kids develop a trusting internal voice. When they face challenging math, we want that voice to say, “I have tools to figure this out. I know something about this. I can keep thinking and trying.” 

That’s the foundation of confidence in math and life. Notice the parallels.

This resonates with what I model at Roots and Wings Math:

• Recognize that small shifts and moments lead to big changes over time.  Making this one moment easier may hinder desired outcomes in the long run.
• Listen to and value our children’s ideas.
• Trust the process of growth, even when it’s messy. 

I appreciate Dr. Becky’s message that we don’t need to put too much pressure on any single interaction. She shares her own missteps to remind us that we have many chances to be our best parenting selves. Each moment doesn’t have to be perfect, or even great.  

I encourage you to carry this mindset into your child’s early math experiences. Whether we’re talking about behavior or base 10, the goal is the same. We want to raise kids who keep trying, believe in themselves, and discover their thinking has value.